Jed Clampett: A Hero for the ages

Children can benefit from emulating the positive qualities found not only in their parents but in public role models. I had such boyhood heroes, too, one for each season.

During the winter months I idolized Tarheel point guard Phil Ford. Yes, I’m telling my age. But growing older beats the grave, so here goes.

Ford was the consummate floor general and a ball handler extraordinaire. I can still see him splitting the zone and dishing a quick backdoor pass to a cutting Walter Davis. I so wanted to be Phil Ford . . . until spring.

Beginning in April and throughout the summer months I wanted to be Yankees catcher Thurman Munson. Not only did Munson play for my favorite team, he was also the captain. He helped resurrect the Yankee mystique, which had been dormant during my childhood.

Munson led the Yankees to three American League pennants and two World Series championships. His name sounded cool and his moustache is the reason mine has been shaved only twice in 30 years.

When the summer surrendered to autumn baseball gave way to football. My hero worship turned to Oakland Raiders quarterback Ken Stabler. I thought “Snake” was as cool as they come. He had a scruffy beard and hair that curled from beneath a sinister silver helmet.

On the field Stabler was unflappable and appeared unconcerned with his surroundings. A blitzing linebacker? Hah! He’d stand defiantly in his face. A charging tackle? He never appeared to notice they were there. At the last possible instant Snake’s left hand would strike, delivering a perfectly placed pass to Fred Biletnikoff.

He would get hammered for his nonchalance. If the hits fazed Snake he never let on. In fact, He seemed to thrive on the punishment and the defender’s exasperation.
Those three athletes were at the top of their respective games and they provided me with memories that remain fresh even today. But they’re no longer my heroes.

Ford has battled some personal issues and I just don’t like basketball like I once did. Stabler was just too much of a partier. What else can you say about a guy who John Madden kept in line by making him responsible for keeping John Matuszak in line?

And Thurman Munson, God rest his soul. It’s not easy for a 14-year-old to learn that his favorite ballplayer has died in a plane crash. Thirty years have passed and it seems like yesterday.

It’s also plain that--at age 44--I’ll never be the athlete those men were or that millions of young boys dream of becoming. But I had another childhood hero, and I still look up to him. That hero is Uncle Jed.

Yes, that Uncle Jed; Jed Clampett. I know he was a fictional character, and my reasons for admiring him have changed over the years. For example, I know I can’t shoot flies on the wing or skeet with a rifle. It’s unimportant that Jed was a multi-millionaire, and I certainly don’t admire Jed because he “moved to Beverly.” Jed Clampett is my hero because of the type of character he was.

Despite his good fortune--somehow a man who could shoot flies missed a gopher--Jed never changed. Glitz, glamour and status didn’t interest Uncle Jed. He wasn’t afraid to be himself.

He wasn’t an educated man, but he possessed common sense, logic and wisdom that far-exceeded his wealth. He was honest, capable and dependable. Those virtues are in short supply these days.

Jed was the epitome of self-reliance and charitable to a fault. He sought peace whenever possible--no easy task with Granny for a mother-in-law--but never shied from a necessary confrontation.

Living up to Jed Clampett’s example is a tall order. However, it’s worthy of a man’s best effort. In fact, our world would benefit if more people wanted to be like Uncle Jed.