Chris Varano, report to the sports department, please!

When it comes to pontificating on the contemporary political scene Chris Varano might make a pretty fair sports broadcaster. Sports broadcasting is, after all, the Dallas native and Texas Christian University sophomore’s major. As such, his next editorial for TCU’s online newspaper should touch on Brett Favre’s myriad retirements, leaving politics alone, lest he become another (God forbid) Keith Olbermann.

Varano believes opposition to the “ground zero mosque” is Islamophobia in the first-degree. And he quotes Al Franken--Minnesota’s dubiously elected, self-proclaimed expert on everything--to validate his claim. That Mr. Varano, is strike one. Citing Sen. Franken on serious matters is akin to heeding Terrell Owens’ advice on improving team chemistry.

Varano states, unequivocally, that the proposed--and already financially troubled--Islamic center in lower Manhattan is peaceful. “It is not going to (be) a training ground for terrorists or a symbol of victory on 9/11,” writes Varano.

So, Chris, is that a Namath-like guarantee? Can we sue you if you’re wrong? Remember, the flight school where Mohamed Atta and his box cutter chorus trained wasn’t known as a hotbed of Islamic extremism either. As for being a symbol of victory, how can America consider it otherwise? A mosque at the WTC is as much a sign of victory as the U.S. flag atop Mt. Suribachi. I doubt you’ll find the famed Iwo Jima photograph hanging in many Japanese living rooms.

Strike two!

The fact is that Chris, like most Regressive leftists, is a walking contradiction. He’s critical of “the American people” for “holding entire groups responsible for the actions . . . of a few.” Yet the phrase “the American people” is itself all-inclusive. The author has engaged in the stereotyping he claims to despise, blanketing all opposition to the “ground zero mosque” with the Islamophobia quilt.

Chris, think for a moment. Your head won’t explode, I promise. Can Americans be the Islamophobes you claim when there 100 mosques in New York City, and approximately 2000 nationwide, operating freely? Plus, if memory serves (it does, thank you) Islamic radicals orchestrated 9/11. They bombed the USS Cole, the Khobar Towers, a Beirut barracks, a German nightclub and a jetliner in Lockerbie, Scotland. And that’s just for starters.

If the mosque in question is to be Islam’s olive branch to America, as its proponents claim, shouldn’t a less controversial sight be chosen? Conversely, a mosque near ground zero is perfect for poking America’s eye.

That’s strike three, sports broadcaster. You’re out! Yet I hope I’ve clarified why so many Americans oppose the “ground zero mosque.” It’s not that we’re murderous cannibals, desiring to kill, cook and eat every Muslim in the contiguous forty-eight states. We just never again want to wear the “paper tiger” badge.

Now, grant us a boon and concentrate on your sports broadcasting degree. Then, when you return to “Big D”, you can rail on Tony Romo’s latest interception and why the Texas Rangers won’t win in October. America can use good sports broadcasters. We need more Keith Olbermanns like we need relief pitchers with double-digit ERAs.